If, however, you are like most bodybuilders, and are looking for the workout that will put on the most amount of muscle in the shortest period of time, then stay tuned: this may be just the recipe you have been looking for.
OK, lets get one thing straight: There are mass building workouts, and then there are mass building workouts.

If you're the kind of person who would rather grow a couch out of your rear while eating Doritos, chugging Mountain Dew, and watching reruns of I Love Lucy, Gilligins Island, Different Strokes, or Sally Jessie Raphael, then this workout is not for you. Maybe you should take up crochet.

Read This First:

If, however, you are like most bodybuilders, and are looking for the workout that will put on the most amount of muscle in the shortest period of time, then stay tuned: this may be just the recipe you have been looking for. This is not a workout for the weak minded, weak bodied or the athletes belonging to the "weekend warrior" club. This workout is intense and should only be attempted by advanced athletes that have bodybuilding knowledge and experience. Beginners would be wise to look elsewhere as in the presence of ignorance this program will injure. Disclaimer done.


Putting on muscle is not as easy at is seems; it takes work. A LOT of work. PAINFULL work. You have to eat, and I mean EAT. You will not get as big as a bear by eating like a bird. If you are trying to convince people that you are as tough and muscular as Richard Simmons, then continue to eat sissy leaning up foods like salads, canned tuna, and maybe even tofu. But if you wanna get to be a big mother…and I mean HUGE, then you have to eat like a man…no…a BARBARIAN, a VIKING, a WARLORD.

What's the recipe? Tons of red meat, Dark Beer, whole milk, cream, chicken, butter, old-fashioned peanut butter, chips, candy bars, donuts, complex carbohydrate sources etc, ad infinitum. Calorie and protein dense foods work wonders for adding mass, and when combined with the Ultimate Mass Building Workout you may grow like you have never imagined possible.

I know, I know. I see you in the back raising your hand, doing the tango / pee-pee dance in your seat anxiously screaming about the f-word. "I'm going to be a whale" you bemoan, "people will chase me trying to throw me back into the ocean if I eat like that." Hold on skinny, not so fast..., your ribs are showing and the girls are laughing at you. Sit down because there is a thing or two you don't realize. Allow me to explain.

Fats Produce Testosterone:

The reason for this is simple: You need fats to produce testosterone, and you need testosterone for the building of muscles (increase in protein synthesis). Translation? No fat, no muscle. That's a fact, Jack.

SO, what is my advice? If you want to get huge and add muscle - so much that people think you're hardcore juicing - GET FAT! It's all going to come off in the on-season anyhow, so who cares? The time for being lean is then, and this is now - winter. This is the time when people wear baggy clothing and plenty of sweaters. Besides, its not like anyone is going to remark about how fat you are - they will be too scared to comment because of your size. Yes - OH YES - you will instill fear in the hearts of men everywhere!

While it may be true that life may stop growing in the outside world and the other animals may be hibernating during winter, you're the exception to every rule of nature - now is your best time to grow.

I know that there are plenty of crappy workouts advocated by "this pro-and that pro." Do they work? Maybe. For some they do, for some they don't. But one thing is for certain: In order for this program to work for you, you have to work for it. In other words, you have to do your part. You must be dedicated, disciplined, and you have to devour all food within your path. You absolutely MUST work hard, eat hard, and get plenty of rest.

So here it is: The Ultimate Mass Building Workout. Use it to the letter, follow the above advice, and get ready to buy some new shirts.